Three dimensions of superfluousness

As I’m sure you’ve all noticed three dimensional movies are back. After a brief popularity stint in the 80s and 90s signified by rather flimsy white cardboard ‘glasses’ with one red and one green ‘lens’ with a regrettable life expectancy rather significantly shorter than the movies they were designed to ‘enhance.’
Now, well into the 21st century, 3D is back trying to deliver on an age-old dream of true three-dimensional cinematic media.

I deplore 3D films in their current incarnation. In truth, we all should, but unlike fanatics my world view is not dependent on you agreeing with me. Indeed, feel free to be wrong; someone has to define ‘sub par’ and it may as well be you.

Continuing under the presumption you agree (or at the very least are disinclined to disagree on the grounds of confouding already low expectations) we come to issue of cost. Studios, production companies, and their share holders in particular are the kind of filthy rich but faceless people who are so easy to target as a focus of our own frustrations and financially slightly less emphatic successes.This is a mistake. I do not deny these people could stand to surrender some of their obscene profits in the name of quality over quantity, but I do not resent them for being better capitalists than I am. What I will say is their greed adversely affects the down-stream products for which their investments are responsible. Though it must be granted it is unlikely said shareholders should also happen to be celebrated film critics, they should still be made aware of the fact that the padding of their bottom line for the sake of money is ruining the cinematic experience for those of us who can tell the good films apart from the bad and understand 3D technology for what it is: imperfect and unwanted.
Still, making a profit in today’s world means cutting costs, just as it means jumping on surcharges for 3D movies, and thus I sympathize… to a point. My concern is when the choice to see a movie normally – that is, without the eye-destroying, migraine-inducing pseudo three dimensional nonsense is taken out of my hands as a consumer. It implies you know best, and as fans of my writing know that is patently false; I know best.


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